


Not Such a Bad Collection

by Kujo1597



Series: Maybe That Wasn't Such a Bad Thing [5]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Amputee Peridot (Steven Universe), F/F, Peri has a dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kujo1597/pseuds/Kujo1597
Summary: This is a collection of ficlets and one-shots for my human AU. I was originally posting them all as their own uploads but I decided to just make a single upload that I'll update when I think of stuff.This collection has its share of cute goofy stuff, and bittersweet stuff, and even some outright sad things.*Some of these were written a while ago, I just never had descriptions for them so they never got posted





	1. Peek-a-Boo

Lapis heard the unmistakable sound of Peridot giggling from the other room. Which really isn’t all that unusual so she went back to painting.

Then she heard Peridot gasp, then

“peek-a-boo!”

and then more giggling.

This went on for a bit and eventually she heard Max bark a few seconds after Peridot said ‘peek-a-boo’ and then Peridot would start giggling and the cycle would begin anew. 

After listening to the barking and laughter for a bit Lapis decided to check out what exactly is going on.

As soon as Peridot noticed Lapis walk into the room she started to do her excited little wiggle. 

“Lapis, Lapis,” she called. “Watch this!”

Peridot covered her eyes and did a little gasp. Max looked at Peridot eagerly and his tail started to wag. Peridot lowered her hands and said “peek-a-boo.”

Max’s tail wagged like crazy and he moved his paws around in an excited way. He then lowered his head and closed his eyes, a little bit later he lifted his head and did a little bark.

This is when Peridot started to giggle again. “He learned how to play peek-a-boo! He’s so smart!” 

“That’s cute and all but don’t do it too much, our neighbours will complain, and I’m not dealing with that,” Lapis said.

“Aw okay,” Peridot said with a pout. “I think they’re at work right now though.”

“I think the one family’s grandma lives with them and she doesn’t work.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Peridot’s eyes went wide with realization. “Okay, we’ll only play peek-a-boo a bit longer.”

‘A bit longer’ ended up meaning 'for another half-hour.’


	2. A Furry Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be fun to write something from the perspective of somebody who doesn't like dogs.

_(Pearl POV)_

When I woke up I felt a small ten-ish pound weight on my stomach. As I opened my eyes Peridot’s dog came into focus.

Thankfully it was sleeping.

Argh, spoke too soon! It’s awake now!

And it’s looking at me with those small beady eyes!

Aren’t dogs supposed to have large expressive eyes?

Why isn’t it with Peridot? It never leaves her side!

Oh no, it’s crawling up me!

“Peridot! Amethyst! Uh, Steven!”

Somebody get it away from me!

When I looked to my side I saw Amethyst.

Thank goodness!

“Amethyst, get this thing off of me!”

Of course Amethyst smirked. “Aren’t you trying to get over your fear of dogs?”

“Yes, but a dog being on top of me is too much.”

It’s in my face now!

When I squeezed my eyes shut I heard the dog make the same noise it made when I didn’t share my carrots with it, then a weight lifted from my chest.

“C’mere buddy,” Amethyst had Peridot’s dog in one hand, she moved it so it was high on her chest. “My boobs’re probably comfier than Pearl’s boney body anyway.”

Ugh, no tact as usual, but at least that creature isn’t on me anymore. So I sat up and Amethyst sat next to me eating with the dog balanced on her chest.

“Thank you,” my voice was still quiet thanks to my ordeal.

“No prob,” the dog sniffed Amethyst’s mouth and she kissed it on the nose.

How unsanitary.

But it was kind of a cute sight. Amethyst and that dog really like each other.

“Why isn’t the dog with Peridot?”

“Little guy can’t stand the smell of hair dye. Guess he saw you sleeping and wanted to join nap time.”

“It’s very friendly, isn’t it?”

“Yep, he’s a sweet little fuzz-butt,” Amethyst stroked the dog with a smile.

Some part of me is envious. It gets worse whenever I see everybody look at it with so much affection.

But I can’t.

All those vicious attack dogs during the war.

Being chased by police dogs as me and Rose protested together.

I can’t get over my fear.

Amethyst is laughing as the dog licks crumbs off of her face.

That’s so disgusting.

Even if I do get over my feelings I’ll never let a dog lick my face.


	3. Burnt-Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s good to help those around you but don’t wear yourself down doing so. Self care is important.

Still splitting at the sides laughing Peridot and Amethyst stood at the door of Peridot’s home.

As Peridot turned the key in the lock she smelled something familiar.

It wasn’t until she opened the door she realized that the familiar smell was something concerning.

Burning.

Peridot froze for a second and in that moment Amethyst noticed that Peridot’s eyes were moist.

Like a green flash Peridot rushed into the duplex and looked around for her emotional companion dog, Max and her roommate, Lapis. She tracked the smell down to the kitchen and ran into it with Amethyst close behind.

The first thing Peridot saw was a very dejected Lapis.

The second was Max standing next to her trying to be a comfort.

The third was a baking sheet covered with burnt cookies.

Peridot took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart then wiped her eyes.

She had a job to do.

Peridot walked up to Lapis. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Lapis just shook her head. “I messed up. I wanted cookies and you make it look so easy. I heard the timer but it sounded so far away and I just couldn’t get up. And now they’re ruined.”

Peridot put her hands on Lapis’ shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s just cookies," Peridot said this more for herself than Lapis. "I’ve burned cookies too.” Peridot looked at the burnt batch then walked over to it. “Look, some of these are still edible.” She grabbed a nearby spatula and with a grunt she pried a cookie loose. “They’re just a bit crispier than usual.”

Peridot gave Amethyst a look she hoped would convey that she needed some help.

Thankfully Amethyst understood Peridot’s expression, she grabbed the spatula from Peridot then peeled a black cookie off of the sheet. “I’m more than happy to eat burnt cookies,” Amethyst said then took a big bite out the cookie. “Nothing needs to get thrown out. You’re good.”

“Yeah, see?” Peridot gave Lapis a small smile.

“Okay,” Lapis said then returned Peridot’s smile with a tiny one of her own. “I should clean up my mess.”

“It can wait,” Peridot waved Lapis off. “We can wash them with tonight’s dishes. The cookie sheet needs to be soaked anyway and there’s no sense in doing the dishes twice.”

Lapis nodded then took the cookies Peridot managed to salvage and left the room.

Peridot felt Amethyst’s strong comforting arms wrap around her.

“You okay?” Amethyst asked. “You teared up a bit back there.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Peridot replied, but Amethyst knew full well that it was a lie. She made unwavering eye-contact with Peridot and that’s when her tears started to come back. “I was just a bit scared.”

“What were you scared of?”

“It’s silly,” Peridot said with a sigh. “I was afraid that I would lose everything again. But what are the odds that two of my homes would burn down in four years?” Peridot’s tone turned bitter. “That’s why it’s silly.”

“No it’s not,” Amethyst squeezed Peridot tighter. “What happened to you was terrible, of course you’re scared of it happening again.”

“I was also afraid that I would lose Lapis and Max.”

“Well, yeah. You care a lot about them.”

Peridot’s composure finally crumbled. “Can you just hold me for a bit?”

Amethyst shifted so her and Peridot were front to front. Peridot wrapped her arms around Amethyst then buried her face in her shoulder.


	4. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my lovely readers asked me to write Peridot comforting Amethyst like she does Lapis. A scene like that was admitedly long overdue. I wanted to get this up for Amedot Day but I think the delay was worth it.
> 
> This is for you, Aly!

“Beach day” ended early for Peridot, the sun became unbearable even under the shade of an umbrella. She didn’t really mind. ...Apart from the fact that she was no longer able to see Amethyst in her two-piece swimsuit.

When she finally dried off Peridot heard the front door slam and then saw Amethyst bolt through the house with her head hung low.

This was an extremely concerning sight, especially with how happy Amethyst was just moments ago.

Peridot quickly went up to Amethyst’s room and knocked on the door.

“May I come in?” Peridot asked.

“No,” Amethyst did a poor job of hiding how upset she was.

“Will you be willing to talk to me? We can do it through the door.”

Silence.

“Amethyst, what happened?”

The bed creaked and before Peridot knew it the door was open.

“We ain’t doin’ this through the door,” Amethyst said. Peridot couldn’t help noticing that her eyes were red and that she had put on huge baggy clothes.

Amethyst flopped onto the bed and Peridot sat at the desk and turned the chair to face her.

“What’re ya doin’ over there?” Amethyst asked. “Don’t wanna be near me?” She barely audibly added, “Don’t blame ya.”

“I simply feel that this arrangement will make it easier for me to play the type of supportive role currently necessary.”

“This how you do things with Lapis?”

“Pretty much,” Peridot said with a nod. “Now, please tell me what happened to upset you.”

“Got called fat.”

“There’s more to it,” Peridot decided to press the subject.

“Yeah! There is!” Amethyst sat up, her anger very clear. “It reminded me why I don’t swim in public. Especially during tourist season!”

Amethyst ran her fingers through her still-wet bangs. “Fucking Canadian tourists looked at me and said,” Amethyst put on a “Canadian accent” which in Peridot’s opinion sounded way more like a Minnesota accent, “Ah gee, lookit that. Americans really are big, aren’t they, eh.” The fake accent stopped. “Like, it shouldn’t bug me ‘cause I’m happy with how I look but-” Amethyst rubbed her eye “-still stings, y’know.”

“I know, things accumulate and old wounds can still hurt,” Peridot decided to add with a touch of humour, “I banged an old knee fracture recently and it hurt like the dickens.”

She continued, “Amethyst, how you felt is perfectly valid; what they said about you was awful. Don’t beat yourself up over reacting like a human being.” Peridot made eye-contact with her girlfriend who was currently her patient. “What action do you think you should take?”

“Throw ‘em in the ocean,” Amethyst said bitterly.

“What would that accomplish?”

“...Nothing.”

“What would accomplish something?”

“Making out with you.”

Peridot’s face turned bright red, _that_ response made it a bit difficult to remain impartial. “A...and why would that accomplish something?”

“‘Cause you love my bod and I need somebody other than me to right now.”

“Ummmm...” the redness worsened, Lapis _never_ asked to be made out with; apparently Amethyst required a different technique. “I was thinking something along the lines of you listing off five things you like about yourself.” Peridot had a little trouble breathing, normally that request wouldn’t get such a reaction but the _forwardness_ and _timing._

And Amethyst knew exactly what she did. Seeing Peridot so flustered greatly improved her mood and self-esteem. “I can list things later, I’ll even write ‘em down for you, doc.”

“Please don’t call me doctor right now, kissing your patient is highly unprofessional,” Peridot felt in the mood for some roleplay. She sauntered up to Amethyst to the best of her klutzy-one-footed-unfeeling-feeted ability. “I don’t want to have to stop seeing you.” She put her hands on Amethyst’s love handles and leaned in.

“But Doctor Hōseki, I never learned your first name,” Amethyst played along.

“It’s Peridot,” her voice was as smooth and low as she could get it.

“Like the space-gem?”

“The very one.”

Peridot closed the gap between her mouth and Amethyst’s. She gently coaxed Amethyst’s lips open and ran her hands along her girlfriend’s hips. Peridot was still pretty bad at starting tongue-kisses so Amethyst more than happily did. She found the uniqueness of Peridot’s tongue very fun to explore.

They separated for air.

“Y’ever make out with your other patients?” Amethyst kept up the roleplay.

“No, you’re the only one to get me to break my code,” Peridot smiled. “You’re special.”

“Thanks,” Amethyst rested her chin on Peridot’s shoulder, she stopped playing. “You really helped me out Peri.”

“You’re welcome,” Peridot rubbed her thumb across the ripples on Amethyst’s back. “But I’m serious about the list.”

“I know, I need to see the good parts of myself for myself.”

Peridot nodded. “I’m glad you understand that.” She backed up so she could kiss Amethyst on the forehead. “You’re going to be fine. And if you ever stop feeling fine, I’ll be there for you.” Peridot’s mind went to their fight at the rave.

“I promise.”


	5. POP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place after "Actually, That Was a Good Thing" I debated making a seperate collection but I don't know how much I'll write that's definitely post-ending. Everything else takes place whenever.
> 
> Anyway, the dynamic between Peridot and Isa, who's my human Blue Zircon, is heavily imspired by Drawbauchery on Tumblr. It's such a cute dynamic!

Peridot opened the door and saw Isa standing at it holding a shopping bag.

“Hey Isa,” Peridot greeted her with a smile. “Would you like to come in?”

“Hi Peridot,” Isa smiled back then stepped in and took her shoes off. “I got you something.”

“You did?” Peridot’s face lit up. “Well first you should make yourself comfortable. I’ll make some coffee.”

“I didn’t know you started to drink coffee,” Isa said as she pet Max who was very enthusiastically greeting her.

“I didn’t,” Peridot spoke from the kitchen, “but you and Jeanne are over so often that I decided to buy some. My good friend swears by this brand.” Peridots tone turned joking, “so if it tastes bad, blame her.”

“Don’t worry, there’s no way it’ll taste as bad as what we have in the office,” Isa said with a laugh.

In the few minutes it took for Peridot to prepare drinks Isa had sat down on the living room couch and Max curled up with her.

Peridot passed the coffee to Isa then took a sip of her own milk tea. “Looks like Max has really taken a liking to you.”

The pooch’s tail thumped against the couch. “He sure has,” Isa scratched his chin. “Oh!” She remembered the reason she came in the first place. “I was in Ocean Town earlier and went shopping. And I immediately thought of you when I saw something.”

Peridot fidgeted a bit in excitement.

Isa suppressed a chuckle. “When I passed by your office I saw some of your action figures. Oh, and by the way, with your job you really shouldn’t be using a laptop. It’s bad for your wrists and back.”

“I know, I’ve been saving up for a desktop,” Peridot grabbed her phone and pulled up a website. “I thought building a computer would make for a fun afternoon and I can shape it to suit my needs. I don’t need anything too powerful since I’m not much of a PC gamer but~”

Isa listened intently to Peridot as she rambled about building a PC, showing off all the parts she picked out, speaking in terms that a lot of people wouldn’t understand, and occasionally going off onto tangents and talking so fast that even an expert would have trouble keeping up.

The light dulled in Peridot’s eyes when she noticed just how lost Isa was. “Oh... I, uh, got a little enthusiastic.”

“No, no, continue, I was having fun.”

“Really?” Peridot blushed slightly. “Ah, I was pretty much done anyway. Besides, we got a bit off track. You were saying that you chose your purchase based off of something you saw in my office.”

“That’s right!” Isa picked her shopping bag off of the floor. “I noticed that you really like your robots and when I was shopping I saw this and you immediately came to mind.”

As Isa reached into the bag Peridot could barely contain her excitement.

Gifts are always great.

Maybe it’s a model kit!

Then Peridot saw the dead-eyed stare of the product Isa was holding up.

“W-wooww, thanks,” Peridot tried to look appreciative. “I like Megaman.”

“I saw the posters,” Isa looked so proud. “You have a few of these, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do, I have Percy and Pierre, well, most of the cast from Camp Pining Hearts, and Peppermint Patty, she’s my favourite Peanuts character. I entered a contest to win her, but didn’t. However, I later saw her at a bookstore so that worked out.”

“Do you like POP Vinyls? You don’t have a ton, and when you like something you really go all-out,” amusement was clear in Isa’s voice.

“Um,” Isa’s proud face came to Peridot’s mind. “Y... yeah, I like them. I used to have a lot more but you know... things melt.”

Peridot kicked herself for lying about such a thing, but for some reason she rathered that than hurt Isa’s feelings.

“That’s good to know,” Isa looked relieved. “Maybe I can get you a few more then.”

“Sure,” slipped out of Peridot’s mouth.

She screamed at herself internally. _“Whyyyyy would you let that lie snowball?”_

“The Blanka one is pretty cool actually,” Peridot continued to speak and scream internally.

_“Do you want thousands of the accursed things?!”_

“Which one’s Blanka?” Isa asked.

“He has green skin and bright orange hair and is part of the Street Fighter line.”

The internal screaming momentarily died down, but resumed once Peridot realized that if she got Blanka she would need Dan who’s his best friend, then she would need Ryu since you can’t start collecting a line without having the main character, then Ken because they’re rivals, and, well, long story short, she’d end up with the whole range of ugly things.

Peridot decided to change the subject before she dug herself an even deeper hole.

“So Isa, how’s work?”

Of course the subject change wasn’t graceful, but they talked for a little while before Isa needed to go home.

After she left Peridot put her forehead against the door.

“What did I get myself into?”

She sighed.

“The last time I lied about liking something it was to my dad.”

Peridot looked at the gift sitting on the coffee table and couldn’t help but smile.

It’s the thought that counts.


End file.
